LadyTokin
03-07-2006, 10:14 PM
As many of you know, my beautiful mom was stricken with Alzheimers several years ago. I go over at least once a week to give my dad a break because, well, as anyone who has had a loved one with this horrible disease knows it can be quite tiring and stressful for the caregiver. A lot of the time I am so stressed and tired by the time I leave that I cry the whole hour trip home. Today, though, I came to a realization that somehow changed everything. I had been missing my mom...the pre Alz mom and that was causing me very much grief. As I drove over today I was dreading the task ahead because mother can be quite violent at times. She is so attached to my dad that when he leaves to have down time or to run errands she gets severely angry and I am the one she usually vents on. The day starts out well and then slowly crumbles as the day wears on. However, during the course of the day today I started to look at things much differently and somehow it completely altered the day for the better.
I walked in, gave mom a kiss and told her how beautiful she was. She smiled and said she didn't know I was coming *she doesn't know who I am though*. I spent a few minutes with dad, helping him get his papers and things in order that he would need to take with him. Dad wanted me to give mom a haircut and I sighed when he asked cuz that usually gets me punched and pinched ...and bitten. Anyway, dad went on his way and as I sat talking with mom I just stopped and studied her for awhile and listened to her ramblings. All of a sudden a bright smile came across my lips and my eyes were tearing up...not from sadness this time...no, not at all. I realized that all of this time I was angry because this disease had taken my mom. I also realized that my mom was still here...right there in front of me. Sure she was a lot different, sure our conversations didn't make much sense but she was still there. I decided to take a completely different approach to our day. Since mom's mind had regressed to a childlike state then why not treat her as I do my grandkids....why not play and have fun . I was stunned to find out that my mom can still read...she read Peter Rabbit to me. I found the book in some old stuff she had put back from the days when she would have my kids over for weekends. I showed it to her and she opened it and started reading. I sat and listened in complete awe. I also got the task of cutting her hair accomplished without being hit the first time but that was a slightly ironic happening. She would not sit in any other chair for her haircut exept the captain's chair in the kitchen. Well, as usual, by the end of the haircut she was furious and tried to punch me in the leg but accidentally hit the chair arm. I stopped and kissed her hand gently and told her I was sorry she had hurt herself.....she let me finish the haircut without further incidence .
Later she was ready for a nap so she and I lay down. She talked the whole time, just like my granddaughter , telling me what time the clock said every few minutes. Then I heard dad coming in and I told mom we should hide. She said no...with a huge grin on her face. I pulled the covers up over our heads as dad came through the house playfully hollering as to our whereabouts. As he came through the bedroom door I giggled and made the ssshhhh sign to mom, she giggled too. Dad pulled the covers down and we all busted out laughing. It was the greatest moment I had had with my parents since I was a child.
Somehow I have rediscovered my mother, different though she may be, she is still mom, the most beautiful woman in the world.
...and my dad ain't too shabby either
I walked in, gave mom a kiss and told her how beautiful she was. She smiled and said she didn't know I was coming *she doesn't know who I am though*. I spent a few minutes with dad, helping him get his papers and things in order that he would need to take with him. Dad wanted me to give mom a haircut and I sighed when he asked cuz that usually gets me punched and pinched ...and bitten. Anyway, dad went on his way and as I sat talking with mom I just stopped and studied her for awhile and listened to her ramblings. All of a sudden a bright smile came across my lips and my eyes were tearing up...not from sadness this time...no, not at all. I realized that all of this time I was angry because this disease had taken my mom. I also realized that my mom was still here...right there in front of me. Sure she was a lot different, sure our conversations didn't make much sense but she was still there. I decided to take a completely different approach to our day. Since mom's mind had regressed to a childlike state then why not treat her as I do my grandkids....why not play and have fun . I was stunned to find out that my mom can still read...she read Peter Rabbit to me. I found the book in some old stuff she had put back from the days when she would have my kids over for weekends. I showed it to her and she opened it and started reading. I sat and listened in complete awe. I also got the task of cutting her hair accomplished without being hit the first time but that was a slightly ironic happening. She would not sit in any other chair for her haircut exept the captain's chair in the kitchen. Well, as usual, by the end of the haircut she was furious and tried to punch me in the leg but accidentally hit the chair arm. I stopped and kissed her hand gently and told her I was sorry she had hurt herself.....she let me finish the haircut without further incidence .
Later she was ready for a nap so she and I lay down. She talked the whole time, just like my granddaughter , telling me what time the clock said every few minutes. Then I heard dad coming in and I told mom we should hide. She said no...with a huge grin on her face. I pulled the covers up over our heads as dad came through the house playfully hollering as to our whereabouts. As he came through the bedroom door I giggled and made the ssshhhh sign to mom, she giggled too. Dad pulled the covers down and we all busted out laughing. It was the greatest moment I had had with my parents since I was a child.
Somehow I have rediscovered my mother, different though she may be, she is still mom, the most beautiful woman in the world.
...and my dad ain't too shabby either